Coping With a Loss When You Are at Work

Coping with a loss of an animal companion is especially hard when you have to work. We can not always afford to take time off and process our grief. Grieving a loss of your family member may become overwhelming when a job requires endurance, attention, and concentration. Healthcare is one of those occupations. Here are some suggestions on how to help yourself in a situation when you have no option but to work while grieving your friend. 

Time and Place for Yourself. 

Make a designated time and a place to process your emotions, cry and talk to your departed loved one, whatever you need. Talk to your supervisor and arrange a time for extra breaks. If you have a private office, close a door and take a break. If a separate room is not available, it can be a bathroom or your car. Step out and let your emotions flow. Avoid crying while driving for safety reasons.

I am struggling with this option and often sob behind the wheel. My job is very demanding. Once I get off work in the morning and get in my car, my sorrow takes over, and I start crying uncontrollably. Sometimes I find a spot away from people, sit down with a notebook or a phone, and cry silently. My face mask helps to cover my face and disguise tears. 

Comfort Items.

Another way to cope with sadness is to carry comfort items with you. Use this tool with caution. Some things can trigger your emotions, especially if your loss is recent. Find something that works best for you. I have my journal in my work bag where I write messages to Marley. I also carry sympathy cards from my friends and books that comfort me. For example, one of the books in my bag is a children’s book about coping with a loss of an animal friend. One of the comfort items is Marley’s toy. I recently purchased a hummingbird and cat figurines for my car. Again, choose the items thoughtfully. The objects should comfort you and do not trigger sorrow and sadness. 

Helpful Rituals. 

Do anything at work and outside of it that helps you to process and validate your feelings. One of the meaningful activities I found is rituals. Rituals can help to express love to your friend and stay connected with them even after their departure. 

• Collect Adoption Documentation.

I gathered Marley’s adoption paperwork from SNAP Cats, medical records, and veterinary bills and created a folder. After moving to a new place, I misplaced Marley’s documentation and could not find it for a long time. I feared that the folder got lost or thrown away during the move. About two weeks ago, after sincere prayer and a short search, I found Marley’s folder in a box with other papers and books. Additionally, we kept Marley’s medications and IV fluids container in the original bag from the vet. 

• Create a Memory Box.

My friend from SNAP Cats gave me a special memory box for Marley. I put it in a far drawer and couldn’t face it until recent time. When I opened the box, I placed the most valuable items inside, including a fragment of Marley’s hair, a St. Francis medal, dry flowers from the bouquet friends gave me when we lost Marley, and a feather found at the beach. 

• Plant a tree or flowers.

We contacted the Arbor Day Foundation, a non-profit organization that is devoted to planting trees all over the world. The Arbor Day Foundation provides a service of planting trees in memory of your family or friends. I want to have a cypress tree in our yard for Marley. The space in our yard is limited, and I am researching small cypresses that don’t require a lot of room and aren’t very tall. 

• Write and Talk to Your Friend

I write messages to Marley and talk to him throughout the day. At this times, I tell him about my day and what is in my mind. Sometimes I ask him for guidance at work and in life in general. When I feel stressed and overwhelmed at work, I ask Marley for help and direction, and things fall in place as never before. Many authors and bloggers recommend memorial services, lighting candles, and writing poems for your loved ones. 

Join a Support Group.

Loss and grief support groups are a valuable resource that helps to avoid isolation during critical time. The groups can be local or available online. You can participate in the meetings from a place of your convenience. The qualifying professionals that lead the groups can help you to reach out to the community resources and support you in times of acute crisis. 

In Conclusion.

Grieving a departed animal friend is a devastating experience that all families with animals face. Coping with the loss is extremely difficult when you have to perform demanding work that requires concentration, endurance, and full attention. Allow yourself time to process your feelings and express emotions. Have a space where you feel comfortable whenever possible. Comfort items and simple routines or rituals can help you to process your grief and experience a deep connection with your departed companion.